Waving the White Flag to Laziness
Just wanted to check in. Nothing much has been going on.
Ohio State lost to Penn St. That was our second loss of the season. Texas was our first. Frustration is an understatement. The season is essentially over, besides Michigan...but even that normally huge game has lost tons of value to me. I'm angry at our coaches and I'm angry at some of our players. The field being wet was brought up several times. This excuse enrages me further. We should be prepared for soggy fields. Truth is, we need a stud running back. Antonio Pittman is good, but not great. And Troy Smith is good, but he's not like Marcus Vick or DJ Shockley. He resembles these guys to an extent, but he's just not there.
My job is just "ehhh" so far. I've been here for like over 3 months now. Job security is nice...but I just can't get motivated to really kick ass. I feel a little guilty about my lack of production and value adding to the company. I always feel lazy and tired. I basically sit in this small office by myself all day and I am supposed to research selected companies and work on models. But after a few hours of not really communicating with anyone...I become bored and restless. I surf the web for entertainment. I check out plane tickets, I read the news, I write e-mails, I write in this blog and so on. Although I want to do better at this job and impress people, I also feel a sense of "f-ck it." My thought is "hey, I'm doing pretty well here. I'm learning slowly about the stock market. I don't seem to be pissing anyone off or appearing too ridiculously slacker-esque. I'm young. This is good on my resume. Just chill. The tortoise wins the race. Don't get bent out of shape because you get bored easily. I got a comfortable office with a fast internet connection. Good coffee. Clean bathroom. What can I complain about? People here know that I don't know shit about finance...so it's okay. It's understood. I'm in good shape."
That's my thought process. We'll see if I get fired up the road. Doubt.
Here in New York...people are serious about kicking ass professionally. I'm just not in that killer bloodthirsty frame of mind here. I'm like a pacificst. I'm just content being. I'm reading a little Buddhism and I like it because a lot of the principles already apply to my general theories.